


The Midsummer Lover

by Rhiannon_A_Christy



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Frigga meddles, midsummer night's dream inspired, mischief abounds, naked poetry, pretty much crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-17
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-03-01 23:10:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2791148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhiannon_A_Christy/pseuds/Rhiannon_A_Christy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seeing how much Jane was able to change Thor, Frigga decides that all Loki needs to change is the love of a good woman. Sadly, the best laid plans and all that, now Loki is wooing, Thor is waxing poetic, Jane is distressed, and Darcy just wants her six credits</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Preface: A Mother's Tale

**Author's Note:**

> This is an older fic I wrote. It might not be the best as I wrote it during a really bad time in my life. But it is complete and has lots of Thor doing naked poetry.

Frigga loved her sons. It didn't matter that she had never carried them within her, blood had nothing to do with her love and devotion to them. They were just as much her children as any born of her womb. It was for this reason that Frigga sought to find a way to heal Loki and set him once again on the right path. The path that would lead him home.

Seeing how much Jane had changed Thor, Frigga realized that all Loki needed was the love of a good woman. She would find a young maid, and set her youngest son's sights on her. And in time Loki's heart would open and he would be much changed. The problem lie in where to find such a woman that would capture and retain her son's heart?

Seeing a trinket that her oldest, Thor, had once brought her, a thought came to her. Her husband, Odin, had sent their sons away. To the realm of Midgard, where Thor was to watch over his brother while he made amends to the mortals.

There, her oldest, had claimed a mortal woman. She was a lady of both mind and valor, a woman that would suit Asgard well. And in that mortal's midst was a young maid, strong of heart with a clever tongue that she used well. A more perfect mate for Loki she would not find in all the nine realms.

But what of her son? Loki was stubborn, she had known him to stand under the rain for no other reason than he had sworn to do so when others had bid him not to. Should he hear of her plan he would surely recoil, refuse to give the maid a chance no matter what his heart would say.

A plan would have to be devised, to circumvent any protest her son would have. A memory came to Frigga then. There was an elixir brewed, kept inside of a golden bottle. It's liquid was thick and sweet as honey, and when drank would bind the drinker's heart to whomever they first laid sight upon.

Loki had once given the potion to Sif at the Midsummer's Feast, setting the Shieldmaiden's heart upon Odin. She recalled that the sweet Honeydew had the ability to change the heart permanently should not it's antidote be given within a seven-day.

Such a brew would solve all her problems. Thankfully she knew her son well, for when she stole inside his chambers, there rested a golden bottle, hidden away behind a stack of books. The Honeydew within glimmering with captured sunlight when she raised it to the light.

With the bottle in hand, she bid her handmaiden to follow her. Once in the privacy of her boudoir, she gave the brew to the woman, directing her to travel to Midgard and place the Honeydew in the wine of the Prince and quickly return. She was not to inform anyone of her deeds, for all would be reveled in time.

With the handmaiden on her way, Frigga smiled. All that was left to do was wait. Soon both her sons would return to Asgard, and with them their brides.


	2. Two Gentlemen of Asgard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter our lovers four.

All Darcy wanted in the world, was her six credits. Six credits that she thought she'd rightly earned, between dealing with a sleep deprived Jane and almost being killed. Sadly, fate seemed to hate her. Like, bitch stole your boyfriend and fucked up your car kind of hated her.

First Thor showed up, bringing with him a big ass metal robot. Then S.H.I.E.L.D. thought it would be a hoot to interfere, making her sign papers that would make half her credits null and void. And then finally Jane actually held her credits hostage. Who would have thought that simple, sweet Jane could be so evil? So what if Darcy made good coffee and Jane didn't want to break in a new assistant, it was still evil to blackmail her into staying.

And of course, to make matters worse, just two weeks prior Thor had shown up, batshit crazy brother in tow. Turned out that Odin thought it would be best to send his wayward son back to Earth to make amends for his actions. It seemed idiotic to Darcy, but what the hell did she know about punishment on Asgard.

It wouldn't be so bad, but the noise from Jane's room every night, morning, afternoon….well whenever those two were in there together, was more than a little bothersome. Darcy was just glad she hadn't ever caught them in the act. Though it had been a near thing, lucky thing that Thor was so loud.

Loki actually wasn't so bad, at least when he wasn't all, 'pathetic mortal this and pathetic mortal that.' Since Loki couldn't use any of his powers for anything other than the rebuilding of New York, Darcy enjoyed baiting him. The two of them actually had a great little snark war going on. Darcy laughed as she thought about how much their little war annoyed Thor and Jane.

Currently, she was in the kitchen making dinner. Tony Stark had been kind enough to allow them to live in his tower, even preparing a full apartment for the four of them. She figured his reasoning had been two fold, first Thor was his teammate and second Fury wanted Loki where he could be watched twenty-four-seven. Not that Darcy cared, she was staying in fucking Stark Tower with the Avengers. That at least made up for the fact that she had yet to get her credits and graduate. Well, that and the fucking cool hot tub Stark had installed in their apartment.

Darcy stirred the huge pot of sauce, smiling at the comforting smell. It was a night to celebrate, which meant making her Nanny's famous Sunday ragu. Another building had been fully cleared out and Loki had finished repairs. With his abilities it only took Loki a week or so of work to finish. He had said it could have taken him even less time, but the Avengers insisted upon helping as well. It was apparently good PR. Showing the world that they would help fix what they broke, even though they had actually saved the world by doing so.

Still, Darcy thought it was worth a celebration. It was something she had decided from the beginning. A sort of encouragement for Loki. Darcy was a big believer in positive reinforcement. She had trained Jane with little chocolates and cups of coffee. Bad Jane got neither, Good Jane got both. So far it had worked. She had high hopes for Loki.

Darcy set the table, placing a bottle of wine in the middle. Neither Jane or her drank the stuff, Jane was strictly a spritzer girl, and Darcy, well she liked her vodka. But Thor and Loki loved their wine. Though she had once caught Loki stealing a bottle of Tony's expensive imported aged single malt. That was a night that Darcy wouldn't soon forget. Who knew that drunk Loki could be so funny? The man had a wit so sharp he could cut through stone.

After setting down the bottle, she left to fetch the basket of bread. In doing so, she failed to see the woman in Asgardian garb. The woman quietly stepped up to the table, opened the bottle of wine and poured the Honeydew within, quickly corking the bottle.

"May fate look down fondly on Her Majesty's plot." And with that wish, she left before anyone happened upon her.

Darcy entered the room, basket of bread in hand, only to stop. Something seemed out of place. She glanced about the room, trying to catch a glimpse of something that didn't seem to be there. Shrugging her shoulders when nothing could be found, she decided that spending so much time with Asgardian gods was bad for her mental health. She set the bread on the table. Thor and Loki would be home soon.

* * *

It was thirty minutes later that Thor and Loki arrived, covered head to toe in dirt. Though it was yet another fifteen before they sat down at the table to eat, as they had taken a quick shower. Darcy didn't care how long they had worked or how tired they were, there was no way they were going to sit down to eat covered in who knew what.

"This looks delicious, Lady Darcy. Thank you once again for preparing our meal." Darcy rolled her eyes at Thor, though she gave him a huge smile. He had come a long way from throwing coffee cups. Oh, he was still loud and tended to make a mess, but he was actually starting to act like the prince he was. And if you asked Darcy if she employed chocolate rewards with the God of Thunder, she would vehemently deny it.

"You're welcome, Thor. I hope you enjoy it, it's an old family recipe." Of course Darcy had no doubt that he would. Thor pretty much ate everything, and never gained a pound. Darcy was close to actually hating him for that. She had one donut and she swore she gained ten pounds. Sometimes life was just not fair.

Darcy poured the wine for the princes, smiling as Thor took half the glass in one drink while Loki took an elegant taste of his. It was strange the difference in the two brothers. While both were raised by the same set of parents, Thor was brash, loud, easily excited, and coming off almost stupid. Even though Darcy had witnessed first hand that the thunder god was anything but dumb. Loki on the other hand was poised, elegant, soft spoken, even in an argument. Darcy had rarely seen him yell, when he did it was always when he had been pushed to his furthest most limits. He was also highly intelligent, like Mensa intelligent. It was a little frightening actually.

Darcy looked up from her plate about halfway through the meal. She set her fork down on her plate as she looked at the princes. The both of them were starting to look a bit peaky. She had never seen them look so pale before.

"Hey, are you two okay? Lok, dude, you look like you might actually chuck. The ragu can't be that bad." They both looked up at her, their eyes unfocused for a moment. It seriously scared the shit out of her.

"The meal is excellent, as always. I can not say what the matter is, but I do feel somewhat odd." Darcy slid her chair back just a bit, just incase Loki did decide to upchuck all over the table.

"I, too, am feeling odd Brother." What was even more odd, Darcy thought, was that Loki didn't correct Thor. He always corrected him.

"It's probably just fatigue from working so hard these past two weeks. Maybe you better go on and head to bed. Both of you." Jane gave Loki a pointed look. Instead of the fight Darcy expected, both of them nodded their heads and mumbled something before getting up and going to bed. Darcy knew something was really wrong then. Loki never would have acquiesced to anything anyone said. Ever.

"I've never seen them look like that. Damn, Loki actually looked even paler, and seriously that is something hard to do."

"They do still get tired you know. They should be fine by morning, they probably just need some sleep." Still, something bothered Darcy, though she couldn't figure out what.

"You're right. It's just weird, ya know?" Jane nodded, though she no longer seemed to be paying attention.

"Look, Darcy, dinner was delicious. But Fury came by today with a new project for me, and I'm really wanting to get started on it tonight. I'm going to head on up to the lab." Ok, so maybe Darcy didn't have her that well trained, but then again Fury had a talent for screwing things up for her.

"That's ok, I'll just put everything in the fridge if you or the guys get hungry. Just, don't stay up there too late. You do need to sleep." Jane just waved her off and left.

Darcy finished her plate, and with a sigh she cleared the table. She tossed the empty wine bottle in the recycling bin. Cringing as the glass shattered at the bottom.

She hoped Thor and Loki were better by morning, human men were big babies when sick, she really didn't look forward to finding out what alien gods were like.


	3. Much Ado About Nothing

The next morning Darcy awoke to find that she was the first up. That was strange as she was normally the last one. Hey, she spent way too long getting up at the ass crack of dawn so she could study before class. Now that she could actually sleep in, damn it all, she was going to sleep in, even if it was just nine am.

Normally by now Thor and Loki were in the kitchen eating a quick breakfast before leaving to work for the day, and Jane was in the shower. But from what she could tell, no one was even awake yet.

Deciding to investigate, Darcy slipped first up to the lab, and low and behold Jane was fast asleep on her desk. She must have been up over half the night. Not that it was surprising, back before Thor ever showed up Darcy had seen the woman stay up for forty-eight hours straight. Darcy sighed and turned to leave. Jane wouldn't be getting any chocolate or coffee that day.

Once Darcy returned to the apartment, she was met in the hallway by Loki, who looked a little worse for wear. His hair was actually uncombed, sticking out this way and that. Darcy hated to admit it, but he looked rather adorable. She shook herself, that seriously warranted a mental facepalm. Bad Darcy! No comparing the evil, crazy god to a cute little puppy!

Darcy was expecting him to insult her like he normally did every morning, it was just part of their routine. He insulted her, she insulted him, Thor got upset and scolded his brother, Jane rolled her eyes and would say something along the lines of kids in a schoolyard and then scold Darcy about egging him on. It was fun.

So imagine Darcy's surprise when Loki stopped dead in his tracks and gave her a once over, his eyes burning with something suspiciously like lust. It shocked her even more when he moved forward and started circling her, his fingers coming out to lightly brush across her belly and back.

"I doubt you know, Sweet Lady, just how beautiful you are. Mortal eyes can not hope to capture the sight before me. They are insufficient, weak, just like the men of this realm.

"Oh, but you are anything but, my dear, dear girl. Your lips, perfect in shape and fullness. They were sculpted for one purpose my Sweet, they were made for nothing more than kissing. How I have longed to take that lip, plump and juicy like a ripe plum, and gently bite down upon it.

"Would you moan for me, my Little Girl? Would you taste as sweet as a freshly plucked cherry?" Loki's hand came up to trace her lips, he stopped his movement just long enough to pinch her lower lip between forefinger and thumb. Darcy just stood there, eyes wide. What the fuck?

"Oh, my sweet, delicious girl, your body was divinely made. Shaped from the finest marble, your artist carved your curves with my hands in mind. Knowing how my fingers would trace along the dips of your waist, the arch of your hips, and the full roundness of your breasts.

"Damn it all, you do torment me, you mortal Venus." Darcy stood there stunned into silence. Right, that had to be both the most surreal moment of her life, as well as the most arousing. After a moment she began laughing, believing that he was playing a trick on her. Though her laugh was abruptly cut off when Loki grabbed her around the waist and pulled her tightly against him.

She looked up at him, eyes wide. She suddenly realized that he wasn't kidding, the evidence of that was poking her in the stomach. Well fuck. She found she was both frightened and a little excited at the thought that he might kiss her. Sure he was a crazy evil murdering villain, but he was a fucking hot crazy evil murdering villain. Plus, didn't every girl have a soft spot for the bad boy?

A loud clang down the hall interrupted them just as Loki had speared a hand through her hair. He released her immediately, giving her a heated look, his eyes practically burning through her.

"We are not finished, my Little Girl. Not by far." With that he sauntered off towards the kitchen, not even looking back.

Totally freaked out, Darcy ran off towards the bathroom to splash some cold water on her face. She was feeling a little flushed. Ok, she was feeling a whole lot of flushed, and hot. Very hot. Damn, her panties were sufficiently melted right off of her.

So distracted was she by what had happened, that she paid little attention to her surroundings. Once she opened the door to the bathroom she realized her mistake. Thor had obviously just stepped out of the shower and was standing completely nude and wet in front of her.

Darcy's eyes went the widest they could. Go Jane! That fucking lucky bitch! Thor just proved Darcy wrong when she had teased him about the size of his hammer.

Completely red faced and embarrassed, Darcy was getting ready to back out of the bathroom; hey she might have been embarrassed, but she wasn't about to take her eyes off that monster till she had to; when Thor dropped to his knees before her.

"She walks in beauty, like the night

"Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

"And all that's best of dark and bright

"Meet in her aspect and her eyes:

"Thus mellow'd to that tender light

"Which heaven to gaudy day denies." Darcy blinked. Was he reciting poetry? Naked?

"One shade the more, one ray the less,

"Had half impair'd the nameless grace

"Which waves in every raven tress,

"Or softly lightens o'er her face;

"Where thoughts serenely sweet express

"How pure, how dear their dwelling place." Yes! Yes, he was fucking reciting poetry…to her….naked!

"And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,

"So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,

"The smiles that win, the tints that glow,

"But tell of days in goodness spent,

"A mind at peace with all below,

"A heart whose love is innocent!" She tried to take a step back, but Thor reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her further into the bathroom.

"Oh, my Love! How have I gone a day without you by my side? I have been blind! I bid your forgiveness, My Lady, for ever thinking another worthy of the title of my lover. My sweet love, my true heart." Darcy had never been so confused in her life. With Loki she could just chalk it up to him playing a joke on her, but Thor would never do such a thing.

Thor moved forward on his knees, grabbing Darcy around the waist, his head resting on her breasts.

"My gentle love, how I long to spend my days by your side and my nights nestled between your thighs. I would settle there, in the cradle of your warmth, and drink from your fountain. Your love would sustain me for the rest of my days." She finally had enough. There would be no drinking from her fountain, no biting cherries, just no! What the hell had come over the brothers? Had they somehow entered the fucking Twilight Zone? She pulled away from him, practically running from the bathroom. She didn't stop until she reached the lab.

She ran over and started shaking Jane until the woman jolted up, her hair in a huge rat's nest on the side of her head.

"Jane! Jane! Jane! Oh my god! Jane! You are not going to believe this, Fuck! I don't believe it! I mean, Jane, Loki almost kissed me and Thor recited poetry to me naked; by the way you are one lucky bitch; but damn, something is seriously wrong and I am totally freaked out! And Jane you have to do something, like now!" Darcy huffed as she tried to catch her breath. Maybe she should have added a few more periods in there. Jane just sat there blinking.

"Did you just say that Thor recited poetry to you naked?" Darcy sighed, really? Really?!

"Yes, seriously Jane, out of all of that, that is the only thing you heard?" Jane waved her off as she tried to straighten herself out.

"Darcy, I'm not in the mood for one of your jokes. And even if I was, I really need some coffee first." Jane was sooooo not getting any coffee now.

"I'm not joking! Something weird is going on with Loki and Thor, and we need to figure out what before I'm subjected to more naked poetry." Jane just rolled her eyes and left the lab to find some coffee. Darcy stomped her foot, she didn't care if she was acting like a child. Jane wasn't listening, the stupid woman actually thought she would play a trick like that one.

Darcy hesitated before following Jane, she would admit, she was a little scared about what she would find once she returned to the apartment.

* * *

Frigga stood at the edge of the Bifrost, ignoring the reconstruction around her. Her handmaiden had bungled the Honeydew. Loki was enamored of the mortal Darcy, but so was Thor. She had meant to help her sons, not create contention between the two of them. Now the two were bound to fight over the mortal, and there was nothing she could do.

She had looked for the antidote, but Loki had none in his chambers. Frigga sighed, Odin was not going to be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The poem that Thor recites to Darcy is "She Walks In Beauty" by Lord Byron.
> 
> **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	4. As You Like It

When Darcy and Jane entered the apartment, it was to the smell of something both good and very bad. Like the smell of the worlds best waffles, and of burned eggs and sugar.

They entered into the kitchen, their eyes going wide. For there stood the alien brothers, both dressed to the nines, hair slicked back and all. But that wasn't what made the two women stop in their tracks. It was the table, it had been set with a lace table cloth that Darcy was sure cost Tony hundreds of dollars, and the most elegant and expensive china and silver she had ever seen. What was more was the two places that were set, each with a single rose.

Darcy giggled a bit, both men stood beside what she figured was their side. Loki's looked so good that her stomach started to growl. There atop the plate was a thick waffle, still steaming from the iron. It had been topped with cream and several chocolate covered strawberries, the chocolate melting down to drip off the sides of the waffle. Two pieces of bacon sat along the edge and a glass of orange juice and club soda was beside the vase with the rose.

Thor's on the other hand….something lumpy and black had been placed in the middle of the plate with a huge heap of scorched scrabbled eggs on the side. She figured the two black strips on the side was bacon, but she wasn't so sure. Instead of sparkling orange juice, he had set down a huge cup of coffee….coffee so strong there was actually a white film floating on top.

Both men stood there smiling, obviously expecting praises from the women before them. Before her or Jane could say anything, Loki walked over and took Darcy by the hand, setting her down before the waffle. Oh god, the smell of it was enough to send her into ecstasy.

She looked up to see Jane hesitate before sitting down at the plate of black whatever. The moment she sat down though, Thor frown and picked up the plate.

"This is not for you. I made this for Lady Darcy." The two women stared at each other for a moment, Darcy giving a look to Jane that simply said "I told you so." Jane blinked and started to say something, but Thor had already set the plate back down on a different side of the table and reset it. He then grabbed Darcy's hand and pulled her up and sat her down in front of the food he had prepared. Jane made strange noises, almost like she was choking, but Darcy didn't pay any attention, she was too busy trying to figure out what the fuck had just happened.

Darcy didn't have the time to actually figure things out, as Loki quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her back to the chair she had been in previously. The moment she sat down Thor had her other hand and started to pull her back, but Loki still had her other hand and the two ended up tugging her back and forth. She felt like the fucking shinny new toy, being fought over by a couple of kids.

"Let go of her Brother! Can you not see that I've made her breakfast?" Right.

"What I see is that you mean to poison her, Thor." Now left.

"I am not the one that would do such a thing. Now let go." Now right.

"I would never even think about hurting Darcy. You let go, you have already got one lady." Now left.

"You are just jealous, Brother!" Once again right.

"I swear Thor, you have always stolen my things." Once again left.

"Thor! Stop it! What in the world are you doing? Why did you make breakfast for Darcy? Thor?! Why are you acting like this?" The brothers just ignored Jane and continued to jostle Darcy back and forth. It was seriously getting ridiculous.

"STOP IT!" Darcy's voice was loud enough that she was finally able to get their attention. Thankfully it also stopped their tugging when they looked down at her.

"How about I just eat them both, I'm very hungry anyway." That seemed to finally settle them down and they placed both plates and drinks in front of her.

"Here you go, Lady Darcy." Right.

"Enjoy, my dear Little Girl." Left. Even if they no longer pulled her, she was getting dizzy.

Jane just stood there looking lost before she actually stomped her foot like a child and marched out of the room.

Darcy ignored her, too worried about how she was going to eat everything in front of her, but knowing if she didn't the brothers would really start to fight. She looked between the two plates, Loki's looked so good, but she was kind of scared about eating Thor's.

Still she cut a bite of his and quickly stuffed it into her mouth. She tried not to gag, apparently he had tried to make French toast, but he must have had the stove on too high. The outside was black as coal, but the inside was cold and gooey, filled with a raw egg and milk mixture. She forced down the bite, and gave him a closed mouth smile. He looked so smug looking over towards his brother.

When Darcy looked at Loki it was to see him frowning. Knowing he was about to make a scene she cut into the waffle and took a bite. Oh good god, fucking wow! She was seriously having a foodgasm. She knew she was moaning, but fucking hell, who knew that Loki could cook like that?

When she looked up she noticed that Loki was the one looking smug. Great, damn it all too hell and back. She took another bite of the French toast and had to force herself to make moaning sounds. Back and forth she went, taking bite after bite from each plate until there was nothing left.

She pushed both plates away knowing she was one bite away from exploding, sadly at that moment two glasses were set down in the plates' place. She grimaced, but picked up the orange juice and took a sip, she knew she would have enjoyed it far more if she hadn't been so full. She then picked up the coffee, that was by then ice cold, and took a sip. She had to keep from spitting it out across the table, it was fucking tar!

Quickly she worked to drink down both cups, once finished she stood up, trying very hard not to throw up all over the brothers. They both looked so happy. She smiled at them, hoping that when she spoke she didn't also upchuck.

"Thank you both. They were delicious." She started to walk away, but was stopped by two hands on either side of her arms.

"True Heart." Right.

"Sweet Girl." Left.

She turned to find them both standing there with the roses in hand. They handed them to her and each gave her a kiss on the cheek before standing back to let her go. Darcy walked as quickly as she could back to her room and collapsed on her bed.

She really needed some Pepto, but she didn't think she could get off the bed. They really needed to figure out what was going on, because she wasn't sure she could handle another meal like that.


	5. The Teacup Tempest

Darcy realized that she must have fallen asleep. She was just at that point between waking and sleeping, where she couldn't tell what was dream and what was reality. All she knew was a warmth along one side of her body, a feather light touch tracing the paths along her face.

She smiled and breathed in the scent of leather and snow. It was a clean, but earthy scent, and a very masculine one. It sent tingles along her spine and settled down low beneath her stomach. She moaned, her mind coming up with an image to go along with the scent. Though her eyes quickly shot open at the sound of a low chuckle. She looked over to find Loki sprawled out beside her, his fingers tracing her lips. She shot up then, stumbling out of bed.

"Why are you so jumpy, Sweet Girl? Had I not told you that we were far from done?" Darcy shook her head, the memory of that morning slowly coming back to her. Of Loki in the hall and naked Thor in the bathroom. Dear God, naked Thor reading her poetry!

"What is going on? Seriously! I'm not kidding here, what the fuck is going on?" Loki just lifted a brow and smirked at her. It was evil what that smirk did. She swore, instant panty dropper there. Before she was able to get her wits about her, Loki stood up and advanced upon her.

"What do you think you are doing? To give attention to Thor? Do you think to make me jealous by showing my non-brother notice?" Darcy didn't know what to say. Had the whole world gone mad?!

"What the ever living Fuck?! I'm not trying to make anyone jealous or showing anyone notice, thank you very much!" Loki just 'tsked' and moved towards her until he had pinned her up against the wall. He leaned in a bit, trapping her where she stood.

"You accepted Thor's food this morning. Even moaning like a wanton, though the food was not even fit for dogs. You accepted his rose, though we both know you want no other than myself.

"Had not these past weeks of banter been nothing more than foreplay? Had I not responded quickly enough for you, that you now choose to change the game?" He leaned in even more, his lips resting along the shell of her ear, the heat of his breath tickling her flesh.

"You need beware, Little Girl, I will only play your game for so long. Thor is a shallow brute, and should I have to wait too long for you to abandon your affections towards him, I will take action myself. Unless of course, that is what you want? Loki kissed her ear then, moving a path across her jaw, making his way towards her mouth.

"Lady Darcy! My True Heart! Where are you?" At Thor's voice Loki let her go, giving her a wicked smile.

"Go, your pitiable lover calls." He stood aside to let her leave. His smile firmly in place. When Darcy reached the door he called back out to her, his voice thick with lust.

"Remember what I said, you are mine and I will not tolerate another's hands on you for very long." Darcy swallowed hard, half frightened and half aroused. She rushed out of the room as though the hounds of hell were at her heels.

She found Thor in the living room, he still looked dressed up, his Asgardian finest on. He stood with what Darcy thought had to be around three dozen red roses in his hands. Once he saw her, his face broke into a huge smile. He came bounding over to her, kneeling at her feet and holding out the roses.

"Oh, you truly are beautiful, my True Heart. Your hair, it flows like a wild river down your gently curving back. Your eyes are like wet jewels, that which are fit for a Queen's crown. Oh, your skin is milk sweetened with honey. And your lips, but ripe cherries ready and waiting to be plucked. How I have longed to bite those cherries, feel the firmness between my teeth and drink of your juices." Darcy stood there with a face so red she was sure she looked like she was on fire. She had never even heard him talk that way to Jane.

In what was becoming a habit for her lately, Darcy wasn't sure what to do or say. Well, several thoughts and actions did actually pass through her mind, but running off screaming about Thor and Loki being possessed by Cupid probably would get her put in the nut house. Thor, though, soon solved her problem, setting aside the roses, his hands coming to rest along the deepest dip in her waist. She was shocked, they were so big that she felt his fingers meeting in the middle of her back.

"My vegetable love should grow

Vaster than empires and more slow;

An hundred years should go to praise

Thine eyes, and on thy forehead gaze;

Two hundred to adore each breast,

But thirty thousand to the rest;

An age at least to every part,

And the last age should show your heart.

For, lady, you deserve this state,

Nor would I love at lower rate." Oh, great, another poem. At least he wasn't naked this time. Though she was beginning to think that maybe this wouldn't be any better as he left lingering kisses along her stomach with each word.

"But at my back I always hear

Time's wingèd chariot hurrying near;

And yonder all before us lie

Deserts of vast eternity.

Thy beauty shall no more be found;

Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound

My echoing song; then worms shall try

That long-preserved virginity,

And your quaint honor turn to dust,

And into ashes all my lust:

The grave's a fine and private place,

But none, I think, do there embrace." Darcy gasped as Thor lifted her shirt just enough to expose her stomach. He continued to kiss her belly, his lips hot and wet, his tongue even coming out to taste every other word.

"Now therefore, while the youthful hue

Sits on thy skin like morning dew,

And while thy willing soul transpires

At every pore with instant fires,

Now let us sport us while we may,

And now, like amorous birds of prey,

Rather at once our time devour

Than languish in his slow-chapped power.

Let us roll all our strength and all

Our sweetness up into one ball,

And tear our pleasures with rough strife

Thorough the iron gates of life:

Thus, though we cannot make our sun

Stand still, yet we will make him run." Darcy couldn't breathe, what the hell did they teach men on Asgard?! Surely there were no virgins there. Not if all men wooed like Thor and Loki. Damn but it was hard to think while Thor dipped his tongue into her navel, nipping at it before pulling her down so she was straddling his lap.

His hands left her waist and speared themselves in her hair, he was just leaning in to kiss her when Darcy heard a shocked little scream from the doorway. Darcy clenched her eyes. Fuck. When she opened them and turned it was to find Jane standing there with her mouth hanging open and tears running down her cheeks. Darcy jumped up from Thor's lap.

"Jane! I-it's not what it looks like, I swear it! He-he-he, It's not my fault, Jane!" She tried to explain, but Jane wasn't listening and ran off, most likely towards the lab. Darcy started after her, but Thor grabbed her hand and tried to hold her back.

"True Heart, do not worry. She will get over it, in time when she realizes that my love has always been for you. She will understand." Darcy ignored the nonsense coming out of Thor's mouth, and pulled as hard as she could. When his hand let go of her she ran off. She had to talk to Jane, she couldn't let her believe what she most likely did. It didn't matter what she saw, it really didn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The poem is actually not a full one, it is part of the poem: To His Coy Mistress by Andrew Marvell. Not really the sweetest poem ever, but I wanted something a bit desperate for him here.


	6. A Lover's Complaint

Darcy practically ran her way to the lab, hoping that she was right about where Jane would have gone. It seemed her theories on Jane using science as an escape were true, for Jane was standing at her computer. Darcy watched a moment as she slowly typed something and then gave it up and slammed both her hands down on the keyboard.

"You didn't see what you think you did." Darcy knew that was a weak explanation, but she was still trying to figure out what happened herself. Jane whirled around then, her face covered in tears.

"You were straddling Thor's lap! Your shirt was half off, his hands were in your hair. HE WAS GETTING READY TO KISS YOU!" Jane huffed as she turned away, her shoulders slumped.

"How is that not what it looked like?" Darcy shrugged her shoulders. At least Jane hadn't gotten there earlier.

"Ok, it sort of is what it looked like, but not fully. Thor is the one that started it, not me." Right, probably not the best thing to say at that moment. Darcy groaned, looked like she was taking the asshat boyfriend excuse.

"Then why didn't you stop him?! You. Were. In. His. Lap." Darcy shrugged again, maybe she should have thought through what she wanted to say before she talked to Jane.

"You've slept with him, you know how irresistible he can be. I just couldn't think when he started to kiss my stomach." Fuck, that was a mistake. Seriously, foot all up in mouth.

Jane started crying harder, whirling back around. Darcy had never seen her look so wild. She was actually frightened. It was a lucky thing that Jane didn't carry a weapon, or Darcy knew she would be dead.

"You Bitch! To think I thought you a friend, a sister even. But you are nothing more than a bitch. What kind of woman steals another woman's man?" Jane advanced on Darcy, her finger pointed out, poking into her chest once she got close enough.

"What, is having all the other men in the tower drooling over you not enough? You had to take my man too?" Darcy stood there looking down at the finger that was poking into her chest and then back up at Jane.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Jane removed her finger and stood back, her face contorting into a bitter grimace.

"Bruce and Steve both forget to breathe every time you enter the room. They stand there blushing and stammering at just the sight of you. I've overheard Tony and Clint on many occasions going on and on about what a nice rack you have. Hell! I've caught Fury staring at your chest once!" Darcy's brows went straight up. Fury, fucking crazy ass Fury had been checking her out? Now that was the stuff of nightmares.

"You are crazy, Jane." She would have said more, like how Jane must have been licking toads or something, but she was cut off by said crazy woman screaming.

"Why?! Why would you do that? You know how much I love him,  ** _why would you betray me like that?!_** " Darcy tried to take a step towards Jane, but the woman held up her hand and took one step back.

"I haven't done anything! I swear it! Thor is the one that came on to me. I never encouraged it!" She ran her hands through her hair. She was going to need therapy after the day she was having.

"Remember Jane, that I told you this morning that something weird was going on. I told you about Thor reciting poetry to me nude. And hell you saw what happened at breakfast. Something is seriously wrong with both Thor and Loki, they are…possessed or something. Thor keeps trying to…well you saw, and Loki he seems to think I belong to him now. You can't blame any of this on me." Jane turned away from her, her shoulders once again hunched, as though she were giving up.

"Leave, Miss Lewis. I don't want to look at you….ever again." Darcy nodded, though the other woman couldn't see, and left the lab in tears.

* * *

 

Thor was waiting for her when she returned to the apartment. Darcy rolled her eyes, of course, why wouldn't he be? She wiped her eyes, trying to dodge him, but he was quicker and grabbed onto her arm. He pulled her close, his hand coming up to finish drying her cheeks.

"Who was it that has caused you to weep? Who shall I kill for this slight?" His words were meant to be comforting, but all Darcy wanted to do was knee him in the balls.

"What is your problem? Why do you keep acting like this?" Thor slipped his hand into her hair, bringing her face closer to his so he could rest his forehead on hers.

"I act in no other way than I should, for I love you. Do you not love me?" Darcy growled, trying to push herself away from him, but only succeeded in removing his face from hers.

"What the fuck? What about Jane?" He shook his head, his hand slowly tangling the back of her hair. He was seriously going to pay for that. It took her forever to comb out even the smallest rats-nest.

"I did not know what I was doing when I was with her. Jane is a good woman, but I do not love her like I do you. How could I even think to love someone so plain when I have the vision of beauty that is you?" Darcy stood shocked. She wanted to laugh, hoping that everyone would jump out and yell surprise. Because seriously, this had to be some huge joke.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Just the day before you were professing your love for Jane You even asked me for advice about how long you should wait to ask for her hand. How could you in one day change your mind? Unless you have been playing Jane all along, and if you have, why you think that I would go along and allow myself to be your next toy? To let you use me and throw me away just as you did Jane." Darcy was stunned for a moment as Thor actually started to weep, big fat tears falling from his eyes as he pulled her tightly against his chest.

"I would never even think about doing such a thing to you. I love you, my True Heart, and shall take you away with me to Asgard as my wife." Not knowing what else to do, Darcy struggled to get herself free of his arms, only to have Thor bring her face up and start to kiss her. So shocked was she, that she let him kiss her for a moment, but once she realized what was going on she struggled until he pulled back. She slapped him then, and ran off to hide herself away in her room. Things were getting damn crazy, and she wasn't sure what the fuck to do.

* * *

 

Frigga hung her head, her eyes focused on the toes of her shoes. She knew after witnessing what was happening on Midgard that she would have to tell her husband, she hadn't been looking forward to it though it had to be done. She was just glad that he wasn't yelling at her.

"What made you think that using the Honeydew was a good idea? More than that, how could you use such a potion without first checking to make sure there was an antidote available? This was foolish Frigga, beyond foolish actually. Thankfully I know someone that can acquire the antidote" Odin sighed, sometimes he wondered if Loki hadn't gotten his rather mischievous streak from Frigga. The woman could be a little imp when she wanted to.

"What had you been thinking?" Frigga lifted her head and gave her husband a sweet, innocent smile.

"I just wanted things to go back to the way they were before. I thought that Loki finding himself a woman would have done the job. It did with Thor." Odin shook his head. As he said, imp.

"It was foolish, but I understand. Do not worry, my Love, we will figure things out. Now, come here." Frigga ran across the room and straight into his arms. He held her close to him, kissing the top of her head.

"We will give the antidote to Thor, but unless we want to have trouble with Loki, we can't give him any. So it looks like you will be getting your wish after all. Though whether or not it will work remains to be seen."


	7. The Comedy of Errors

Darcy sat on her bed, trying to dry her tears, but they just kept coming. She was so confused and hurt. In less than a day she managed to lose a friend and gain two very creepy admirers, and she didn't know how the fuck any of it happened.

The door opened, forcing her to look up. Loki stood there, watching her with the softest expression she had ever seen on him.

"Would you just leave, I'm tired and don't really want to deal with you right now." He shook his head, and ignoring her, came in anyway. He sat down beside her, pulling her to his side, and dried her tears before lifting her chin up.

"You are too beautiful to cry, Little Girl." He kissed her then, without any warning. Darcy was glad that she had been sitting down, because there was nothing quite like Loki's kiss. Thor's had been hot, passionate and forceful. But Loki's completely melted her, leaving her little choice than to fall right into his arms.

His lips continued to smooth over hers, his tongue teasing her own with promises of more intimate games. Slowly he laid her down on the bed, popping the buttons on her shirt one by one until he reached her bellybutton. Realizing what he was doing when she felt a finger dip into her navel, she batted his hands away and sat up.

"What is wrong, my Dear Girl?" Darcy pulled her shirt together, doing up the buttons as quickly as she could. Once finished she gave a sigh, all the buttons were in the wrong hole. She bet she looked like she just had a quickie in a bathroom. She gave Loki a look that clearly said that she thought he was insane.

"What is wrong? What the fuck is not wrong? Damn it Loki, just yesterday you hated my guts, now you’re kissing me?" He laughed then, his hand coming out to play with the strands of her hair.

"I haven't hated you since the day after I met you." He kissed her once more, gathering her up in his arms and carrying her off somewhere.

She was shocked when they entered his room. There at the end of the bed was a table, fully set with dinner. Loki sat down in the only chair, making Darcy have to sit in his lap.

"Oh, I tried, Dear Girl, I tried very hard. To hate you as I do other mortals, but there is something about you that calls to me." After situating her, Loki leaned forward and grabbed a mini quiche, bringing it up and placing it at her lips. Not knowing what else to do, and simply tired of it all, Darcy opened her mouth and took a bite.

"I know not if it is the way your body curves, winding in ways that make my lips tingle to think about tasting them. Or if it is the softness of your mouth, the shine in your eyes, the smoothness of your flesh." Once the quiche was finished, Loki picked up a bite of steak that he must have already cut before coming to get her. He placed the morsel on her tongue, his finger running along the inside of her lower lip before backing off so she could chew. Darcy couldn't help but moan at the tender, rare flesh, so juicy the meat as she swallowed it down.

"Or, my lovely Little Girl, it could be your never ending wit, for we all know that like calls to like. It could be your mind, your heart…it could be you." Loki leaned in, giving Darcy a kiss filled with more warmth than any she had before. He pulled back, picking up another cut of steak, again placing it on her tongue.

"None of that matters really, because in the end it all means one thing, that I love you Dear Girl, and you are mine." Darcy ate it all up, the food and the attention. She couldn't say that she didn't find Loki attractive, in fact she realized she had a crush on him for a while now. She swallowed the meat and took a bite of another quiche. Loki smiled, dusting a few crumbs from the corner of her mouth.

"You will be the jewel of Asgard's crown. More beautiful than any goddess that resides there. Women will envy your beauty and grace, and all men shall long for you." Darcy leaned into Loki's hold, resting her head on his shoulder as one of his hands played in her hair, and the other fed her.

"Your grace, your visage will become legend. The poets shall write epics of your elegance, the musicians will compose symphonies in honor of you. All of the court will bow before you, as you stand by my side." Darcy felt as though she had been drugged, so relaxed was she in his arms. She ate whatever he placed in her mouth as he told her of all the ways Asgard would love her. Of the fine things he would shower her with, a fine steed, jewels, silks, and fruit from the farthest realms. It was all a bit much, and Darcy knew that any future dates with normal men would be measured against that one dinner. It really wasn't fair, but there it was.

After she swallowed down the last bite of the cake they had for dessert, Loki just held her to him, one hand in her hair and the other running up and down her arm.

"Mother will delight in you. She will take you under her wing, show you the ways of an Asgardian royal. There are gardens outside the palace where Mother will spend her free days. There are trees enough to shade, and the water of the fountains run crystal clear. There a child may run and play, and neither of you will grow too cold or hot." Darcy looked up at Loki at the mention of a child. Surely he was just talking, surely. Oh God, he better have just been talking. Loki wasn't looking down at her, his gaze seemed to be far away.

"I know a perfect place in those gardens. Where Mother had a pond built surrounded by the most magnificent trees. The water is like a mirror, glittering with light. Just beneath the surface graceful fish swim, playfully darting to and fro in a living painting.

"At dusk the light bounces off the water, giving the appearance of stars twinkling in the grove. There would be the perfect place for the wedding. All of the Court will have the vision of you in your virgin white gown against the shining waters imprinted in their minds. There we will vow our hearts and souls to be forever bound." Darcy's heart started to pound, dear lord he hadn't just been talking. Oh, good fuck! Totally freaked out, she shot straight up, her eyes wide as she looked at him.

"Bound? Forever? What the ever living fuck, Loki? We haven't even been on a real date, and you're already talking marriage? What is with you and your brother?" Not to mention he never even asked her out, not once.

"I love you, and I will be damned if I don't marry you. You are much mine as I am yours, and I'm going to make sure that it is that way forever." Darcy freaked out at that, she liked him sure, but love? She had known the man for two fucking weeks! She jumped off his lap and made a run for the door, but Loki stopped her with a hand at her hip and his lips against her ear.

"You can run all you like, but in the end you will be my wife." He let her go then, standing back as Darcy ran back to her room.

* * *

 

Slowly Darcy awoke as she became aware of someone in her room. She groaned, though didn't open her eyes. She knew she should be frightened that it could be someone out to kill her, but she pretty much already knew who it was. Or well, knew it could only be one of two men.

A hand slipping up her arm to brush aside her hair was enough for her to figure it out. Thor. He leaned down so that his prickly beard pressed into her cheek, and then began to recite another fucking poem.

"My love, we will go, we will go, I and you,  
And away in the woods we will scatter the dew;  
And the salmon behold, and the ousel too,  
My love, we will hear, I and you, we will hear,  
The calling afar of the doe and the deer.  
And the bird in the branches will cry for us clear,  
And the cuckoo unseen in his festival mood;  
And death, oh my fair one, will never come near  
In the bosom afar of the fragrant wood." She groaned again, what the hell was going on? Where the hell did Thor even learn Earth poetry? She was at least glad it wasn't a roses are red poem, she had enough of those little ditties to last her a lifetime.

Thor pressed into her from behind, his leg coming over to pin her to the bed as he continued on.

"Bird sighs for the air,  
Thought for I know not where,  
For the womb the seed sighs.  
Now sinks the same rest  
On mind, on nest,  
On straining thighs." Darcy's eyes shot straight open at that little poem. He didn't seriously….did he?

She scrambled out of bed moments later when Thor's hand wandered down to her stomach, trying desperately to slip into her sleep pants. Oh no, she thought, there was no fucking way.

"I can't believe I am actually having to say this again, but what the FUCK are you DOING?!" Sadly her yelling had the unfortunate effect of alerting everyone else in the apartment to what was going on. So while Thor was trying to cajole Darcy into getting undressed and joining him, which was when she realized that Thor was naked in her bed, Loki and a red eyed Jane came running into the room.

"Come, my True Heart, we shall make glorious love. Allow me to rest between your thighs and place our child within your womb." Darcy thought she threw up a little in her mouth at that. Who the hell talked that way?

After that everything just sort of fell apart. Jane started crying again, Loki started to growl, Thor continued to try and get Darcy's attention, and Darcy was backed up against the windowed wall of her room wondering if she would survive the fall if she jumped out of the window at the height they were at. Eventually Jane leaped across the room, grabbing at Darcy's hair.

"You bitch! You whore! You told me that you didn't do anything with Thor, so why is he naked in your bed?!" Darcy grabbed at her hair, trying to detangle Jane's fingers.

"I was asleep and woke to find Thor pressed up against me! I didn't do anything!" Jane's free hand came up and smacked Darcy across the cheek, the ring she wore leaving a cut behind. Darcy looked at the older woman in shock. Fine, it was on now bitch! She let go of her own hair and grabbed a handful of Jane's and started pulling.

Around and around they went as they kicked and tried to hurt each other. Jane leaned in to bite Darcy, but the younger woman was quicker and raised her free arm and grabbed a handful of boob and twisted. There was one major difference between men and women when they fought. Men had a code, things that a man would never do in a fight. To do them would be cowardly and unmanly. Women on the other hand, it was no-holds-barred. Women fought as dirty as they could, it was about winning, and rules be damned.

"Thor! What have I told you about touching what is mine?! Darcy is not for you, touch her again and I will kill you." This statement from Loki stopped the fight between Darcy and Jane in its tracks. Jane looked down at the bleeding woman in her arms, and sneered.

"What the hell is going on, Loki too? What the hell is your problem?" Darcy actually started to cry then, not because of the pain of her hair being pulled out or because of the cuts and scratches Jane inflicted on her, but because she was so tired.

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON!" She panted and tried to pull away from Jane to no avail.

"All I wanted to do was get my fucking credits, damnit! It's not my fault Thor turned out to be a horny prick or that Loki for some reason has decided that we're to marry." Jane growls and goes after her again, only to have Thor and Loki jump in and start to pull them apart.

Loki checked Darcy over, smoothing the scratch on her cheek. She looked up at him, hiccupping and trying to hold her tears in. All she wanted was for that strange day to end. She looked away from the soft look on Loki's face to where Thor had pulled Jane on the other side of the room.

"Thor, what is going on, don't you love me?" Darcy was shocked by the look of absolute disgust on his face as he looked down at the woman he had once pledged his love to.

"I love you not. I wish to never be in your presence again, the time I have spent with you has been painful." Jane broke down, leaning into him as she cried.

"What do you mean by all of that? Just yesterday you told me that you loved me, that we belong together." Thor pushed her away just enough to make her stumble, though she caught herself before she fell.

"I regret ever showing favor to you, I find myself sickened that I have ever touched you as a lover. I do not love you, you make me ill when I think on you. You are nothing to me, and I warn you now, never touch Darcy again." Darcy felt Loki tense in her arms, his face going from sweet and loving to murderous in eight seconds flat. He let go of her and advanced on Thor.

"You are not to speak for Darcy, she is to be my wife!" Thor moved in towards Loki, looking as though he could kill. The whole thing might have been funny, Thor standing there yelling at his brother while naked, if it wasn't for the fact that Darcy knew that they were both capable of murder.

"You are mistaken Brother, Lady Darcy is to be my wife." The two looked at each other, ready to kill the other at any moment.

"I propose a duel, to the death. The winner shall marry Darcy." Darcy and Jane stood there, watching with wide eyes as Thor nodded and shook Loki's hand in agreement. With no other word, the brothers run out of the room to prepare for their duel.

"You are the worst sort of woman, Miss Lewis." Darcy wiped off her cheeks, the back of her hand smearing with tears and blood.

"I had nothing to do with any of this."

"Liar!" Jane darted after her, but Darcy was quick and rolled over the bed.

"You can try to catch me, but I'm much younger and faster!" Jane took after her then, prepared to gouge the other woman's eyes out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the poems. Love Song/The Lover's Song by W.B. Yeats.


	8. All's Well That Ends Well

Odin sighed as the figure of a short man walked into the throne room. From the distance it would seem that he wore trousers fashioned of thick fur and little else. His head was half bald, and small horns rested just above the points of his ears. He wore small bells, flowers and leaves woven about in his fur and what little hair he had tied at the nape of his neck. He held an otherworldly air about him, even among those of Asgard.

The man gave a wicked smile to Odin as he approached, before lounging on the stairs that led up to the throne. One of the guards darted forward, but Odin held his hand to stall him.

"Leave us, I shall call when you are needed." The guards bowed and left without a single word.

"A little birdie told me that you were having problems that only I can fix." Odin sighed, Robin was an annoying fellow. He was very much of Loki's ilk, and he feared should Robin ever meet his wayward son.

"My wife has administered the Honeydew to both of my sons, and now they are enamored of the same woman. I have need of the antidote." Robin shook his head, the bells woven into his hair jingling in a merry little tune. He laughed, a silly noise, before standing up and doing a little dance. He skipped his way up to the throne, leaning against the side to be closer to Odin. He smiled widely, his nose almost touching the side of Odin's face.

"I could be persuaded to speak to my King on your behalf." Odin wanted to strike Robin, but he did not relish dealing with the pooka's master, or more so his master's wife. That woman could be vengeful.

"I shall give you a full four casks of Asgardian ale for the antidote. Surely that would satisfy you." Robin laughed again, jumping down from the throne, Odin's helm suddenly in his hands. He tossed it from hand to hand for a moment before placing it on his head.

"I shall get the antidote for you, for four casks, one of your juicy golden apples, and…..and if you turn a blind eye when I play my games on Asgard. I'm getting bored with the Mortals, they don't believe in magic anymore." Robin pouted before laughing at the look Odin sent his way.

"I will accept no less. This is your mess, not mine. You are not my king, I have made no vow to do your will. My master will agree with me, mostly after what happened between you and his Queen." Robin giggled, Odin actually blushed.

"Fine, you shall have your terms." Robin jumped up and giggled again, tossing the helm back at Odin. He poofed away and Odin was left sighing. He was never going to live that one summer down.

* * *

 

Tony sat in the common room with the rest of the Avengers. JARVIS had just informed him that there was a problem in Thor and Jane's apartment. Not wanting to invade their privacy too much, but still make sure everything was alright, Tony told JARVIS play the audio feed from their room. Everyone sat there speechless, wondering what the fuck was going on down there.

_"I regret ever showing favor to you, I find myself sickened that I have ever touched you as a lover. I do not love you, you make me ill when I think on you. You are nothing to me, and I warn you now, never touch Darcy again."_

_"You are not to speak for Darcy, she is to be my wife!"_

_"You are mistaken Brother, Lady Darcy is to be my wife."_

_"I propose a duel, to the death. The winner shall marry Darcy."_

_"You are the worst sort of woman, Miss Lewis."_

_"I had nothing to do with any of this."_

_"Liar!"_

_"You can try to catch me, but I'm much younger and faster!"_

"What the fuck?! JARVIS, play the video feed from when everything started." Steve shot a look towards Tony.

"There are cameras in their rooms?" Tony shrugged his shoulders, his eyes focused on the screen now in front of them.

"There are cameras in every room in the Tower. Cameras and sensors are how JARVIS keeps things running. Normally no one but JARVIS ever sees them. Now shut up, so we can figure out just what the fuck is going on."

Everyone's mouths dropped comically open as they watched the video feed from that morning. They watched as Loki come on to Darcy in the hallway, then to everyone's surprise, Thor and his naked poetry.

"What the ever living fuck?!" Everyone else just sat there completely confused, what in the world were they sniffing down there?

"Fuck, lucky Jane." Everyone's eyes shot to Nat, who sat with her eyes glued to the image of Thor's naked body.

"Shit, lucky Darcy." All the men turned to look at Pepper then, but just like Nat she didn't seem to see anyone but the two Asgardian brothers on the screen.

"Seriously, what the fuck?!"

* * *

 

Odin sighed once again when Robin returned. The casks and apple had been set at the bottom of the throne dais ready for when the pooka arrived with the antidote. Robin smiled widely when he saw the ale, and hopped up and down, giggling gleefully.

"Oh sweet ale, my love, my drink! Like a woman's thighs, so pale, you bring to the brink! How I long to drink, though you mock….."

"THAT IS ENOUGH! Please focus." Robin pouted, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

"You're not very fun, at least my King enjoys my entertainment." Odin shook his head, there was a reason he didn't employ a court jester.

"Have you gotten the antidote?" Robin smiled and produced a little flower shaped bottle.

"I said I would, had I not? But there is a catch, my King has instructed me that I am the only one allowed to administer it." Of course, the secret of the Honeydew wasn't even suppose to be in Loki's hands. He still had no idea how his son had gotten his hands on it.

"If your King wishes it, than I can do nothing more than allow it. You must go to Midgard, there in a tower of heroes my sons reside with two mortal women. Give the antidote to my son Thor, and only Thor." Robin giggled and picked up the apple, tossing it back and forth. It worried him what the pooka might do with the thing as he had no need of it himself.

"Do not worry, once I am finished all will be well. Jack shall have Jill, Thor will have Jane and so on a so forth. I know the drill by now." And with one last giggle Robin, the ale and apple all poofed away.


	9. A Midsummer Night's Dream

Robin blinked into existence in Avenger tower, though not one mortal could see him. He watched amused as the four lovers fought, and shook his head. Oh, but it all seemed so familiar. Though back then it had been his fault. It was kind of refreshing something like this happening and him having nothing to do with it.

He watched on as Thor and Loki hurled insults at one another, circling as they prepared to fight to the death for their Lady Love. As Jane chased Darcy around the living room, calling her names. As Darcy kept telling Jane that she didn't want Thor. It was complete and utter madness.

Robin shook his head, the Asgardians never did know what they were doing with the mortals. He clicked his fingers, smiling as everything came to a halt. The four lovers as well as the others above that thought themselves so clever as to watch on video. Robin laughed, amateurs all of them.

He went about setting the scene, placing Thor and Jane together in their bed. After a moments thought Robin placed Loki and Darcy together in one as well. He clicked his fingers once again and giggled as all their clothes landed in a pile at his feet. Well, when something worked, one didn't stray.

He placed then the antidote in Thor's mouth, passing a hand over the lovers' faces and to Darcy's room he went. He looked down on them and clicked his tongue, oh what a fool the Asgardian Queen had been. He took then another bottle, this one glowing gold, and placed it at Darcy's lips.

"Rest sweet prince, and rest you now sweet maiden." Robin dribbled the honeydew upon the young woman's tongue. His eyes roving to rest on the dark prince. Now their hearts were once again even.

He passed his hand over Loki and Darcy's faces, giggling as he faded away. Come the morning their adventure would seem nothing more than a dream.

* * *

 

Jane was the first to wake the next morning. She lifted a hand to her forehead, confused as the last thing she remembered was chasing Darcy through the living room trying to catch her so she could strangle the woman who thought to steal her man. She turned and gasped. There laid Thor, naked beside her.

"Thor, Thor…" Slowly his eyes opened as she shook his shoulders, his mouth going wide in a sleepy smile.

"Good morning, my Jane." She raised a surprised brow at him, not really sure what was going on.

"What are you doing in my bed?" Thor gave her a looked that clearly said he thought she was crazy.

"You invited me. Do you no longer wish to share a bed?" Thor sat up, his head still foggy from his slumber.

"Do you love me?" He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, looking down at his Jane wondering what would make her ask such a silly question.

"Of course I love you! I love you more than anything in all the Nine Realms, and hope one day you will consent to be my wife." Jane screamed happily and jumped on him, attacking his lips. Thor fell back on to the bed with a laugh, rolling them over so Jane was pinned beneath him.

He looked down at her, images of a strange dream coming to him then. Of renouncing his love for Jane and giving it to Darcy. He laughed at the absurdity of it. To think he would ever pledge his heart to anyone other than his dear Jane!

"What is funny?" He leaned down and pecked her lips quickly.

"I think there shall be no more mortal wine for me for a very long while. Now, kiss me my True One." Jane giggled as she wrapped her arms around him, gladly kissing him.

* * *

 

Loki woke next, his eyes opening wide. He looked around the room he was in with furrowed brows. He remembered fighting for Darcy's hand, or at least he thought he had. It all seemed hazy, like a dream within a dream.

He looked beside him, smiling at the image of Darcy, naked as the day she was born, her body curled around him. He slid his hand along her arm and into her hair, effectively waking her up.

Darcy smiled up at him, her eyes soon going wide as she saw who held her.

"Do you know just how much I love you?" Loki laughed at the wonder in her voice, leaning down to kiss her thoroughly. He pulled back when the need to breathe became an issue, his hand going up to play with a strand of her hair.

"I do believe that I love you even more." They both burst out laughing at how corny they sounded, but they couldn't seem to care.

"I had a strange dream, that I had not loved you at all. That Thor chased me and read me naked poetry." Loki looked at her curiously, the images of his own dream flashing once again across his eyes. He shook it off, and instead leaned down until his lips hovered just over hers.

"He can chase you all he likes, but you are mine. And I do not share." He smashed his lips down on hers, making her squeal as she wrapped herself around him.

* * *

 

It was afternoon before the four lovers ventured out of their rooms, flushed, smiling and giggling. They all stopped in their tracks as they met in the kitchen, goofy grins on each face.

"Loki, I had not realized that you and Darcy had designs on one another." Darcy blushed, embarrassed at being caught by Thor. He came across as dumb, but he was smarter and quicker than most realized.

"Had we wanted you to know before now, we would have told you." Jane looked at the two brothers and rolled her eyes. If her and Darcy didn't do something soon the good mood was going to be ruined.

"Hey now, we have all had a very….good morning, let us not ruin it. Darcy, come and help me make lunch while Thor and Loki set the table." She didn't give anyone a chance to object as she grabbed Darcy's arm and practically dragged her to the other side of the room. Thankfully for their part, the brothers actually listened and set the table.

"It is strange, Darcy, you and Loki together. I don't mean…well, I just mean that I had this dream last night, Loki and Thor both were chasing after you." Darcy blinked at the older woman, setting a pound of bacon she had just taken out down on the counter.

"Ooook, that is seriously weird. I had a similar dream. Loki fed me by hand as he told me about how much Asgard was going to love me, and Thor just kept reciting poetry to me while naked. It was seriously some messed up shit. Though I have to say, if Thor is really as endowed as he was in my dreams, you are one very lucky bitch." Shocked, Jane reached out and clasped a hand on Darcy's arm. She shook a bit as she tried to form words, but before she could get anything out the doors to the apartment burst open.

The four lovers turned as the rest of the Avengers plus Pepper marched into the kitchen. They all stood there in full battle gear looking ready to fight. They all relaxed and looked completely confused when instead of the chaos they had expected, they found the four preparing lunch.

"What the actual fuck?!" Pepper sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"You have got to stop saying that." Tony just waved one metal covered hand back and forth between Jane, Darcy, Loki and Thor.

"I think it is kind of appropriate, don't you? I mean, they were just trying to kill each other!" The four lovers stared wide eyed at Tony, and then at each other.

"What do you mean, trying to kill each other?" Darcy took a couple of steps closer, her body subconsciously moving towards Loki.

"What do you mean, what do I mean? We all watched it on JARVIS's monitors, Thor and Loki were trying to kill each other over Darcy. And you, little girl, you were being chased by a homicidal astrophysicist because you stole her boy toy. What the fuck happened?" The four looked at each other with wide eyes, Darcy coming to rest against Loki, and Jane, Thor.

"Fine, don't believe me. I have proof. JARVIS, show the feed from yesterday." A holographic screen appeared in the room much as it had in the common room, but instead of the feed Tony was expecting there was nothing but static.

"JARVIS?"

"Sir, there is no video or audio feed from the day before. I did inform you the day before of the malfunction, though the problem seems to be fixed now." Tony stood there, his mouth working up and down. He started gesturing wildly, pointing at the screen, at the lovers, at everyone else in the room, all the while making strange squeaking noises.

Loki looked down at Darcy, though he didn't really see her. Images of his dream flashed by quickly, the haze lifting slightly.

"Honeydew." Thor shot a look at his brother.

"Do you really think this is the time to think about food?" Loki rolled his eyes at Thor, but held back the biting remark he so wanted to say.

"I'm not talking about food, I'm talking about Honeydew, also known as Love-in-Idleness. Do not you remember that one Midsummer feast where I placed some in Sif's wine, making her fall madly in love with Odin?" Thor laughed remembering how Sif had gotten down on her knees at their father's feet, curling up like a pet. Poor Sif still had a problem with not blushing when around Odin. Jane's elbow in his side stopped his laughing, bringing him back to the matter at hand.

"You think this is what happened to us? But how? Mortals do not possess the knowledge of Honeydew, do they?"

"No, they do not. I only acquired it through a deal with the King of Shadows. Still, there is nothing else that could have caused such a change within us. How else could you, who is so madly in love with Jane, change your heart and give it to Darcy. For that matter, me? I had been attracted to Darcy from the beginning, but my feelings for her didn't run as deep as they do now." Loki squeezed the woman in his arms closer. Oh, he had seen her beauty from the first day he had come to Midgard. He hadn't been lying when he had told her the day before that he had tried to deny it. He had wanted her, even though he knew he shouldn't have.

"If this is so, why do I no longer pine for Darcy?"

"Whomever first gave us the Honeydew must have returned to give you the antidote." Loki looked down at Darcy, a soft smile on his face.

"And given Darcy the Honeydew, which is why she did not flee when she awoke to me this morning." Darcy smiled and leaned up to peck him on the lips. It was hard to think about fleeing when waking up to a naked Loki in her bed.

"Hold it, hold it, hold it, you mean someone drugged all of you with some sort of love potion, and you…" Tony pointed to Loki and Darcy, "…are alright with that? No wanting to kill someone or anything?" Loki and Darcy look at each other, both of them feeling the love for each other but no anger.

"No, I know I probably should, but I can't care less. I love Darcy and she me, why would I be mad about having the heart of one so beautiful?" Darcy nodded while leaning into Loki's side. It seemed a silly thing, but she really didn't feel the anger and hatred there she should have for what had been done to them.

"The strange thing is, it doesn't feel fake."

"It won't be, soon at least. If we are not given the antidote within seven days this will be permanent." Loki pulled back from Darcy, holding her at arms length to talk to her.

"If you wish it, I will find a way to give you the antidote." Darcy sighed and shook her head.

"I don't wish it." Loki smiled widely, pulling Darcy back into his arms.

"Well there you go." Tony shook his head, walking out of the apartment with the other Avengers on his heels. There was nothing else to say, they were all crazy. Every last single one of them!

The four lovers burst out laughing as Tony yelled back at them from the doorway.

"Seriously guys! What. The. Ever. Living. Fuck?!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I know this is not the ending that many of you wanted. But as I said this was inspired of A Midsummer's Night Dream, in which Robin or Puck gives the antidote to only the mistaken lover and not the other. But since Darcy, unlike Helena with Demetrius, isn't madly in love with Loki, I had Robin give Darcy the Honeydew.
> 
> Also I had to have Robin takes their clothes, my fav movie version of this play has the four lovers wake completely naked, so I just added it in, plus it works for what I wanted to happen.
> 
> Now, just one more left!


	10. The Merry Wives of Puente Antiguo

It was a year later, and all of New York was finally fixed, looking brand new. Loki had finally paid his dues to Earth, and him and Thor returned back to Asgard, though with two women in tow.

It was a day of joy for Asgard. Both Princes had married that morning, their court acquiring two new Princesses. Jane and Darcy looked beautiful as they sat beside their husbands, both still wearing their wedding gowns.

Darcy licked her lips, the juice of the golden apple still lingering on her lips. She really couldn't believe it, she was a wife and an immortal now. It was so strange and yet so right. She looked over at her husband and clasped his hand in hers. He smiled widely and then nodded down the table where Sif was taking a sip of her wine. The woman had not just been upset when Thor brought Jane back with him, she had actually publicly sulked, mostly after Odin had informed the court that her and Darcy had passed their tests and would be made Aesir.

Darcy looked from Sif to her husband and groaned, she loved Loki with everything she had, but he was still a handful. Mostly once he met Robin. A person…well…pooka that Darcy just wasn't all that sure about. She still swore that it had been Robin that had stolen all of her clothes making it so for an entire day she had to go around wearing nothing but one of Loki's tunics.

Darcy shook her head when Sif looked over to Hogan and started professing her undying love for him. Though Darcy couldn't help but laugh at the bright red blush that rose over Hogan's face.

"Loki! Not again!" Odin slammed down his flagon, giving his youngest son a reproaching glare. Loki just shrugged his shoulders, tearing off another bite of bread.

"I have been on my best behavior, just ask Darcy. I'm not the one that tampered with Lady Sif's wine. And it isn't my fault that you made a deal with a pooka." Odin groaned, running a hand over his face.

"Robin! You imp, show yourself!" Though Robin did not show, all in the hall could hear a merry giggle.

"Ah, ah, Odin, a deal is a deal." Odin groaned again, Frigga reaching over to smooth a hand down her husband's back.

"And allow me to congratulate the Princes Loki and Thor on this glorious day. And to wish their wives good health and many children. Which I doubt will be long coming if this mornings activities are any indication." Darcy and Jane both went bright red, bowing their heads as Loki raised his flagon up in a salute to the evil little sprite.

Laughing, Darcy leaned up and gave Loki a kiss on his cheek.

"You're not fooling anyone, I know you talked Robin into doing that." She nodded her head down to where Sif was trying to climb onto Hogan's lap. Loki just gave her a look that said, who me, but then smirked at her and leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"Never have been able to get anything by you, my Love. Though, if you don't tell anyone, I have a special kind of mischief awaiting you in our chambers tonight."

Darcy squirmed in her seat and took a drink of her own wine. Well, Hogan really needed to get laid anyway. Maybe he would actually smile.

**Author's Note:**

> This was a plot bunny that wouldn't leave me alone. I had been watching A Midsummer Night's Dream, as I do most every day of spring and summer every year, and I had been working on OTEOM, and I had this idea, why not do a sort of Thor version of the play? So, this happened. This is not really a retelling of the play, though it is inspired of it.  
> So everyone knows and is assured, in the end it will be Loki/Darcy and Thor/Jane.  
> Disclaimer:  
> All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.  
> ________________________________________


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